Power Struggles without the Struggle

Life seems to be full of paradoxes for me lately, and my latest "discovery" about discipline is no exception.

If you have children, then you have engaged in a power struggle. Whether it is an infant who doesn't want his diaper changed or a teenager that wants to wear something you don't approve of, being in control seems to be a mandate for all human beings.

A couple of months ago, I wanted the girls to do something new as part of their schoolwork. They made it immediately clear that what I asked wasn't something they were willing to do. But I was tired and didn't feel like arguing and I dreaded the escalation of wills that seemed inevitable and the consequences that I would be forced to implement. So I just walked away. I told them what I expected of them, that I didn't care how it happened but that it was going to happen. And then I simply left the room. And after about 5 minutes of palpable silence in the other room, I heard them acquiesce and do what I had asked, as I had asked them. No defiance. No raised voices. No "because I said so" or "Do it or else".

I have tried this tactic multiple times since then, and rather than being a one time success it has worked the same way every time. I clearly state my expectations and then leave. Sometimes there is some quiet internal struggle, but my request is always fulfilled eventually. I'm not sure why it works. Perhaps not having someone to argue with diffuses the situation before it can even start. Perhaps walking away allows them to respond in a way that they feel is more on their own terms; allowing them a measure of control. Perhaps staying in the room gives the impression that the request is optional, or a point to be negotiated and leaving removes compromise from the table. Maybe it is simply a matter of putting the responsibility squarely on their shoulders.

Whatever the reason, I am extremely grateful for the grace that God has given my girls to make choices that glorify Him more often than not. I pray that He will give Chad and I the wisdom to raise them in a way that will encourage a zeal for His Truth.

An Unconventional Tithe

Cassette tapes are quickly going the way of the Dodo and the 8 track, but there is a beloved favorite in the van that will be mourned after it plays for the last time. One of the songs talks of

"All the Sundays the offering plate's gone by,
And as I gave my hard earned dollars,
I felt free to keep my life."

Another favorite tape holds a sermon that I heard during the first week of my college career in which Dr Fred Mortz preached from Isaiah 44:14-17.

He cuts down cedars, or he chooses a cypress tree or an oak and lets it grow strong among the trees of the forest. He plants a cedar and the rain nourishes it.
Then it becomes fuel for a man. He takes a part of it and warms himself; he kindles a fire and bakes bread. Also he makes a god and worships it; he makes it an idol and falls down before it.
Half of it he burns in the fire. Over the half he eats meat; he roasts it and is satisfied. Also he warms himself and says, "Aha, I am warm, I have seen the fire!"
And the rest of it he makes into a god, his idol, and falls down to it and worships it. He prays to it and says, "Deliver me, for you are my god!"

The short version is that this man takes a tree and uses it to build a fire for heat and for food and then with the garbage left over, he makes an idol to worship. The question asked of us by Dr. Mortz was "Are you giving God the garbage?"

These two tapes have been used in my life by God as tools for conviction on numerous occasions. Couple that with the realization of the magnificent amount of time that I have wasted on the computer lately and you have the makings for some radical life changes. Starting today, I am going to attempt to tithe my time. A traditional 10% tithe of a 24 hour day is just under 2 1/2 hours. That seems a bit intimidating to start out with, so I'm going to take my SiL's suggestion and try tithing my waking hours in the beginning, or 1 hours, 36 minutes...give or take a few.

DH and I have set a time for evaluation after a one month trial period. How I continue will be determined by how my family feels about it and how my house looks. I'm trying not to get too excited, but I started this practice today and still had time for school, finishing the taxes, washing windows and (don't tell) folding all the laundry. More importantly, I wonder what my life will look like?

More on this in days to come, I suspect!

A Challenge for Pastors

I Timothy 4:13
"Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to exhortation, to teaching."

There is nothing that makes my spirit sink more than hearing from the pulpit, "...but we're not going to take the time for that now." This usually happens after the speaker has just referenced a longer passage of Scripture.
Forgoing the reading of these passages implies several interconnected things.

• It implies time constraints on the Holy Spirit. Sure, the Holy Spirit is allowed to work in the pastor's heart or the hearts of the people in the congregation, but he only has until straight up noon or until time for kick off.
  
• It implies that everyone in the church has ADHD and can't possibly tolerate listening to longer portions of God's Word. (There are any number of times in the Old Testament that we are told that the nation of Israel listened to the reading of Scriptures for hours at a time, all while standing.)
  
• It also implies that the speaker cuts the reading short in order to use the time for his own words. Which, in turn, implies that his words are more important than God's.

So what exactly is the challenge for pastors? Don't short sheet the Bible reading! Take the time!!

The parallel challenge for the laity? Don't short sheet your pastor's Bible reading! God's purpose for us is to be conformed to the image of his son and not conformed to this world (Romans 8:29, Romans 12:2). This world is concerned with time and fleshly pursuits (like football and whether the roast is burning). The pastor's job is to shepherd the flock in spiritual concerns. He should not feel pressured to cut out portions of scripture just to get us out "on time". Leave your watches at home. And take down the one in the sanctuary!!

There are also applications of this in our private lives as well. Do you spend more time reading what man has written about the Bible or reading Scripture itself?

**note** This has nothing whatsoever to do with anything that has happened in my church and is not directed at anyone in particular.