I want to take a moment to make a few notes here. The last 40-some posts have been moved from a previously existing blog. I have moved everything from two categories--J's story (Preemie) and Ponderings. Not that there will not be any more thoughtful posts or more stories of the girls, but that is everything from the other blog.
I have about 20 more post to move. But from here on it's more of the fun stuff. Homeschooling, pictures and BUGS!
Eventually, when I get to start posting new stuff, I am going to include recipes, Hubby's story of his struggle with Pudendal Nerve Entrapment, and my mission trip to Venezuela (eons ago).
I am taking a trip to see my brother and will be gone until next week. But I think there is enough here to keep you occupied for a day or so. All two of you that actually read this blog, that is.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Best Laid Plans
"Free Will" is highly overrated, if you ask me. I find a great deal of comfort in verses like:
- Proverbs 16:9 The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.
- Jeremiah 10:23 I know, O Lord, that the way of man is not in himself, that it is not in man who walks to direct his steps.
- Psalm 119:133 Keep steady my steps according to your promise, and let no iniquity get dominion over me.
- Psalm 37:23 The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way;
I know that my own heart is "deceitful above all things" (Jer. 17:9) and "only evil continually" (Gen. 6:5). It is an encouragement to me to know that if I seek to obey God and walk in his known will, that I can make my human plans with some measure of confidence (not that I don't often make mistakes!). His Sovereign control over my life will direct me in the way He chooses for me. Which is far better for me anyway. It is not my intention to stir up a debate here. But there is a great deal of Freedom in surrendering to the Sovereignty of God and allowing him to order your steps. It is a much more enjoyable ride when you don't have the responsibility of driving the vehicle.
I have probably posted this before, but its worth repeating. From the Preces Privatae of Lancelot Andrewes, 1555-1626:
Open thou mine eyes and I shall see:
Incline my heart and I shall desire:
Order my steps and I shall walk
In the ways of thy commandments.
O Lord God, be thou to me a God
And beside thee let there be none else,
No other, nought else with thee.
Vouchsafe to me to worship thee and serve thee
According to thy commandments
In truth of spirit,
In revereance of body,
In blessing of lips,
In private and in public.
*originally posted 9/10/07
In Human Terms
The book of John is so rich and deep that you could probably study it for a lifetime without exhausting its truths. One of these truths recently reached out and poked at my brain and I have been pondering it ever since. Specifically, what does it mean to be God’s friend? In chapter 15, Jesus Christ is spending some quiet time with his chosen few in concentrated teaching. He tells of Judas’ betrayal and of Peter’s denial. Then he follows up with some words about bearing fruit, obeying him and being his friend. As I read “You are my friends if you do what I command you”, my mind replays scenes from the years that I taught preschool:
“If you don’t do what I want, I’ll cross you off my list of friends!!” Such juvenile phrases were a common occurrence in that setting. But as with so many other examples, we cannot try to define God in our human terms and understanding. His love is not like our love and his hate is not like our hate because they are not tainted by sin and selfishness. His motive is our ultimate good. Our ultimate good is a deeper fellowship with him, or Abiding as it is stated here in John, and glorifying him. (For a discussion on why that is not the ultimate in arrogance, click here.)
Apply that to this verse in John 15 and you have a completely different picture. Rather than a view of a spoiled, self-centered child we have a view of someone who wants us to be close to him; not because it will benefit him in any way, but because of the joy that fellowship with the highest standard of everything good in the universe will bring to us. Jesus also gives us the quickest route to that fellowship-through obedience to his commandments. Unlike the child who seeks to make others do everything his way out of stubborn selfishness, Christ actually has the authority to ask us to obey him by right of creation and redemption. By his perfection, his way really is also the best way whether we understand it at the time or not.
It stands to reason that we should also not define being friends with God in the same way as being friends with buddy Frank or best friend Amy. Even the best of human friendships are full of emotions, actions and motivations that should not exist in a relationship with God, and indeed cannot exist on his part.
To be continued…
*originally written 2/9/07
“If you don’t do what I want, I’ll cross you off my list of friends!!” Such juvenile phrases were a common occurrence in that setting. But as with so many other examples, we cannot try to define God in our human terms and understanding. His love is not like our love and his hate is not like our hate because they are not tainted by sin and selfishness. His motive is our ultimate good. Our ultimate good is a deeper fellowship with him, or Abiding as it is stated here in John, and glorifying him. (For a discussion on why that is not the ultimate in arrogance, click here.)
Apply that to this verse in John 15 and you have a completely different picture. Rather than a view of a spoiled, self-centered child we have a view of someone who wants us to be close to him; not because it will benefit him in any way, but because of the joy that fellowship with the highest standard of everything good in the universe will bring to us. Jesus also gives us the quickest route to that fellowship-through obedience to his commandments. Unlike the child who seeks to make others do everything his way out of stubborn selfishness, Christ actually has the authority to ask us to obey him by right of creation and redemption. By his perfection, his way really is also the best way whether we understand it at the time or not.
It stands to reason that we should also not define being friends with God in the same way as being friends with buddy Frank or best friend Amy. Even the best of human friendships are full of emotions, actions and motivations that should not exist in a relationship with God, and indeed cannot exist on his part.
To be continued…
*originally written 2/9/07
I am, therefore I Create
The hobby of letterboxing, which I have mentioned before, combines spending time in God’s creation as well as doing a little creating of your own. As you hunt for the letterboxes, you get to see some very interesting things and places in nature and that always puts me in awe. The complexity and beauty of the plant and animal life is simply astounding. The natural world exists to bring glory to God and it does such a spectacular job of it that when I immerse myself in it, whether by watching a fantastic sunset or by listening to the hush of the forest around me, I completely lose myself in the face of something infinitely greater.
When I make letterboxes for others to find, I bring all of my own creative powers to bear, pathetic as they may be. The thought, time and effort that goes into carving a stamp, creating a handmade logbook, writing the clues and pulling the whole thing together on a theme exhausts the limits of my ability. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy every minute of it! And I am constantly on the lookout for new techniques, different materials and fresh ideas to improve the final product.
All of this made me think: why do we do things like this? Why do we feel the compulsion to create priceless watercolor paintings, or fabulous scrapbook pages, or colorful quilts, or hand carved walnut rocking horses, or delicious new recipes? Across history, nations and people of different walks of life and interests there runs the common thread of the need to create. I can see but one explanation: we were all created in the image of the Ultimate Creator. An image reflects the original. We reflect God, not as a mirror duplicates a reflection in every detail, but rather as a shadow reflects a shape as a dark and vague blur.
We imitate Him because we desire to be like Him. Just as a small child goes through the motions of mixing a cake or swinging a hammer in an effort to be like Mom or Dad, we create things in an effort to be like our Heavenly Father. For a child, imitating is an expression of love. For someone who holds Christ dear, creating something can mean the same expression of love. We love Him, therefore we want to be like Him.
This begs another question. Why do unbelievers create? Someone who does not love God, who is in fact his enemy, would certainly not choose to imitate him. They are still created in His image. I suspect the answer is hidden in that, somehow. But I confess, more thought is necessary before I can proceed.
*originally written 2/5/07
When I make letterboxes for others to find, I bring all of my own creative powers to bear, pathetic as they may be. The thought, time and effort that goes into carving a stamp, creating a handmade logbook, writing the clues and pulling the whole thing together on a theme exhausts the limits of my ability. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy every minute of it! And I am constantly on the lookout for new techniques, different materials and fresh ideas to improve the final product.
All of this made me think: why do we do things like this? Why do we feel the compulsion to create priceless watercolor paintings, or fabulous scrapbook pages, or colorful quilts, or hand carved walnut rocking horses, or delicious new recipes? Across history, nations and people of different walks of life and interests there runs the common thread of the need to create. I can see but one explanation: we were all created in the image of the Ultimate Creator. An image reflects the original. We reflect God, not as a mirror duplicates a reflection in every detail, but rather as a shadow reflects a shape as a dark and vague blur.
We imitate Him because we desire to be like Him. Just as a small child goes through the motions of mixing a cake or swinging a hammer in an effort to be like Mom or Dad, we create things in an effort to be like our Heavenly Father. For a child, imitating is an expression of love. For someone who holds Christ dear, creating something can mean the same expression of love. We love Him, therefore we want to be like Him.
This begs another question. Why do unbelievers create? Someone who does not love God, who is in fact his enemy, would certainly not choose to imitate him. They are still created in His image. I suspect the answer is hidden in that, somehow. But I confess, more thought is necessary before I can proceed.
*originally written 2/5/07
If I could Paint
If I could paint, I would paint a picture of Grace. The difficulty with that would be that my understanding of Grace develops over time, so my painting would be covered with smudges from my revisions. And let’s face it, I can’t paint. But I can write. Scratch that too. I can talk. So I will tell you what my painting would look like, if I could paint.
Start with an image of the most gorgeous sunset that you can imagine. Make it one on a pristine beach somewhere. The colors are soft and warm. There are just enough clouds to give the sky texture and break up the light into an interesting pattern. My first concrete image of Grace was just like that. John 1:16 says “and of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace.” A commentary that I looked it up in described it as waves lapping on the shore, and just like that, my picture of God’s Grace toward us came into being. The water of the ocean, in all its vast immeasurability, quietly and unendingly lapping on the sandy beach, bringing a fresh supply of life-giving nutrients and water to the inhabitants on the shore is a perfect likeness of the all sufficient Grace of our Heavenly Father. His fullness comes to us not just in our times of dire need, but is constantly refilling our reservoir whether we are conscious of it or not. A dimension that a painting cannot give you is sound. Do you hear the waves? When you live near the ocean, the perpetual susurration of the water drops from your normal conscious hearing after awhile. It doesn’t stop. It just ceases to be heard. It only takes something small to bring it back into the realm of your awareness though. How very like our human “selective hearing” is our capacity to let our attention to God slip from our conscious thoughts!
There is something terrifying about the ocean too, but standing here in peace on the beach that terror seems distant and almost impossible. It is the same with the Almighty who created the oceans. When we submit to his Providential Authority, even the most difficult of circumstances came be viewed in the light and peace of His Grace rather than the terror of the unknown.
Now we’ll take a stroll down this beautiful beach. We hear the rush of the water and feel the warmth of the setting sun. A gentle breeze tousles our hair slightly. Holding our sandals in our hand, we pad in the wet sand at the waters edge. When the water is deep enough to swirl around our ankles, take a look behind you. There is nothing there. Every mark, every footstep has been swallowed by the ocean. With each lift of the heel, there is a small slurping sound and the sand and water quickly swirl in, filling each depression and covering all evidence of our passing. Romans 2:1 speaks of “the grace in which we stand”. Taking the picture of the ocean of God’s Grace one step further, we move from seeing the waves endlessly running upon the shore to a broader view; that of being completely immersed and swallowed up by that same Grace. We are surrounded by it, supported by it, and in some ways suppressed by it.
When we imagine standing on the sand watching the lapping of the water, the picture is mostly of God’s Grace coming to us and supplying us with every good thing that our Creator has at his disposal. And that is accurate to a point. But when we imagine being covered by the water and carried away, the picture of the ocean is what fills our minds. Our footprints that vanished behind us no longer enter our thoughts. The most noble and holy efforts of ours here on this earth are not worthy of the slightest glance from the great I AM.(Isa. 64:6) We could spell out the entirety of Scripture in Hebrew and Greek with coconuts on the beach and it would still be diminished by the grandeur of the ocean. While we might not think about our best deeds being erased as an act of Grace, it is. And it goes hand in hand with the Grace of the substitution of the work of Christ for us on the cross.
The next time you need to “find a happy place” in your mind, go to the beach at sunset; but not the beaches in Florida, Hawaii, or the Caribbean. Paint yourself a picture and see the water lapping at your toes, rushing past your knees and carrying you away. Get lost in the ocean of God’s Grace.
*originally written 1/10/07
Start with an image of the most gorgeous sunset that you can imagine. Make it one on a pristine beach somewhere. The colors are soft and warm. There are just enough clouds to give the sky texture and break up the light into an interesting pattern. My first concrete image of Grace was just like that. John 1:16 says “and of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace.” A commentary that I looked it up in described it as waves lapping on the shore, and just like that, my picture of God’s Grace toward us came into being. The water of the ocean, in all its vast immeasurability, quietly and unendingly lapping on the sandy beach, bringing a fresh supply of life-giving nutrients and water to the inhabitants on the shore is a perfect likeness of the all sufficient Grace of our Heavenly Father. His fullness comes to us not just in our times of dire need, but is constantly refilling our reservoir whether we are conscious of it or not. A dimension that a painting cannot give you is sound. Do you hear the waves? When you live near the ocean, the perpetual susurration of the water drops from your normal conscious hearing after awhile. It doesn’t stop. It just ceases to be heard. It only takes something small to bring it back into the realm of your awareness though. How very like our human “selective hearing” is our capacity to let our attention to God slip from our conscious thoughts!
There is something terrifying about the ocean too, but standing here in peace on the beach that terror seems distant and almost impossible. It is the same with the Almighty who created the oceans. When we submit to his Providential Authority, even the most difficult of circumstances came be viewed in the light and peace of His Grace rather than the terror of the unknown.
Now we’ll take a stroll down this beautiful beach. We hear the rush of the water and feel the warmth of the setting sun. A gentle breeze tousles our hair slightly. Holding our sandals in our hand, we pad in the wet sand at the waters edge. When the water is deep enough to swirl around our ankles, take a look behind you. There is nothing there. Every mark, every footstep has been swallowed by the ocean. With each lift of the heel, there is a small slurping sound and the sand and water quickly swirl in, filling each depression and covering all evidence of our passing. Romans 2:1 speaks of “the grace in which we stand”. Taking the picture of the ocean of God’s Grace one step further, we move from seeing the waves endlessly running upon the shore to a broader view; that of being completely immersed and swallowed up by that same Grace. We are surrounded by it, supported by it, and in some ways suppressed by it.
When we imagine standing on the sand watching the lapping of the water, the picture is mostly of God’s Grace coming to us and supplying us with every good thing that our Creator has at his disposal. And that is accurate to a point. But when we imagine being covered by the water and carried away, the picture of the ocean is what fills our minds. Our footprints that vanished behind us no longer enter our thoughts. The most noble and holy efforts of ours here on this earth are not worthy of the slightest glance from the great I AM.(Isa. 64:6) We could spell out the entirety of Scripture in Hebrew and Greek with coconuts on the beach and it would still be diminished by the grandeur of the ocean. While we might not think about our best deeds being erased as an act of Grace, it is. And it goes hand in hand with the Grace of the substitution of the work of Christ for us on the cross.
The next time you need to “find a happy place” in your mind, go to the beach at sunset; but not the beaches in Florida, Hawaii, or the Caribbean. Paint yourself a picture and see the water lapping at your toes, rushing past your knees and carrying you away. Get lost in the ocean of God’s Grace.
*originally written 1/10/07
Making Peace with Christmas
For years I have had "issues" with celebrating Christmas. Not because I dislike it, but rather because I love it and it is such a struggle to make it the God-honoring, Christ-centered Holy Day that I want it to be. I'm sure I've even ranted about it here before.
The breakthrough came this year with a little research. No, I didn't find a way to keep that greedy gleam out of my children's eyes. And No, I didn't learn a convicting comeback to teach the girls to say to all of those people that ask them about Santa. What I found was that Christmas was never meant to be a Christian holiday. And while I have known this for a long time, this year I actually surrendered to it. Other than the rejoicing and worship that took place right at Christ's birth, the Bible never mentions any annual celebrating. His birth and life and death were hardly noticed by most. And that isn't any different today.
The annual celebration of Christmas began as and for a very long time was an excuse for people to get together and enjoy themselves during the long, boring winter. There was nothing religious about it. Then it became a way to honor the pagan gods. And then the puritans outlawed any Christian participation. Then somewhere along the way, someone decided that "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!" and the Christian Christmas was born. (okay, so that is the very abbreviated version.) So, I guess it could be argued that any worship or Christ-honoring celebrating that takes place during the winter holidays is a bonus. This is what I surrendered to this year. It was not a giving in to the secular domination of Christmas, but more a realization that as Christians in this age, we have the great benefit of hindsight. We know the supreme significance of Christ's birth and can choose to celebrate it in ways that the early Christians could not.
And I actually enjoyed Christmastime this year (in spite of having that stomach flu). And now it's over and we have spent most of the day dismantling all of the decorations. The house looks like the Grinch has been here and taken it all. After lugging the last of 13 boxes plus odds and ends to the basement, I looked at J and said, "Phew! Christmas is officially packed away!" And my almost 8 year old replied (in that wise and slightly exasperated tone that an almost 8 year old can get), "But, Mom! You can't ever really pack Christmas away!" And I had to go to my room so that she wouldn't see my tears. Because she gets it.
And that is worth celebrating!
*orignally written 1/7/07
The breakthrough came this year with a little research. No, I didn't find a way to keep that greedy gleam out of my children's eyes. And No, I didn't learn a convicting comeback to teach the girls to say to all of those people that ask them about Santa. What I found was that Christmas was never meant to be a Christian holiday. And while I have known this for a long time, this year I actually surrendered to it. Other than the rejoicing and worship that took place right at Christ's birth, the Bible never mentions any annual celebrating. His birth and life and death were hardly noticed by most. And that isn't any different today.
The annual celebration of Christmas began as and for a very long time was an excuse for people to get together and enjoy themselves during the long, boring winter. There was nothing religious about it. Then it became a way to honor the pagan gods. And then the puritans outlawed any Christian participation. Then somewhere along the way, someone decided that "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!" and the Christian Christmas was born. (okay, so that is the very abbreviated version.) So, I guess it could be argued that any worship or Christ-honoring celebrating that takes place during the winter holidays is a bonus. This is what I surrendered to this year. It was not a giving in to the secular domination of Christmas, but more a realization that as Christians in this age, we have the great benefit of hindsight. We know the supreme significance of Christ's birth and can choose to celebrate it in ways that the early Christians could not.
And I actually enjoyed Christmastime this year (in spite of having that stomach flu). And now it's over and we have spent most of the day dismantling all of the decorations. The house looks like the Grinch has been here and taken it all. After lugging the last of 13 boxes plus odds and ends to the basement, I looked at J and said, "Phew! Christmas is officially packed away!" And my almost 8 year old replied (in that wise and slightly exasperated tone that an almost 8 year old can get), "But, Mom! You can't ever really pack Christmas away!" And I had to go to my room so that she wouldn't see my tears. Because she gets it.
And that is worth celebrating!
*orignally written 1/7/07
Slipping into something more comfortable
I love Autumn. The smells, the sounds, the colors, the clothes...I love it all. I love the tasks of getting my flower beds tucked in for winter and of feeding "the guys" in the field during harvest. I love the crisp air, crisp apples and crisp leaves. The smells of cinnamon and leaf smoke. The fuzzy clothes and the feel of grain running through my fingers. The crackle of the fireplace that I have missed so much and the honking of the geese. Fall is such a rich sensory feast and I relish it all.
The humming of the combine in the fields around the house in the night reminds me that my best beloved is somewhere near even when I can't see him. The silver shimmer of the dew covered spider web carpet on the lawn in the morning reminds me that there is a bigger world designed by my creator that is not often thought of when we are busy, but it goes on just the same by his design. And the falling leaves and vibrant colors remind me that even death can be spectacular when it is for God's glory.
Every year I long for the change of seasons and the comforts that it brings. But more than that I long to slip into something more comfortable than the sweaters and hot chocolate of Autumn. To be in the presence of my Savior...
*originally written 9/26/06....still waiting...
The humming of the combine in the fields around the house in the night reminds me that my best beloved is somewhere near even when I can't see him. The silver shimmer of the dew covered spider web carpet on the lawn in the morning reminds me that there is a bigger world designed by my creator that is not often thought of when we are busy, but it goes on just the same by his design. And the falling leaves and vibrant colors remind me that even death can be spectacular when it is for God's glory.
Every year I long for the change of seasons and the comforts that it brings. But more than that I long to slip into something more comfortable than the sweaters and hot chocolate of Autumn. To be in the presence of my Savior...
*originally written 9/26/06....still waiting...
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