Wednesday, February 13, 2008

We interrupt this broadcast...

I want to take a moment to make a few notes here. The last 40-some posts have been moved from a previously existing blog. I have moved everything from two categories--J's story (Preemie) and Ponderings. Not that there will not be any more thoughtful posts or more stories of the girls, but that is everything from the other blog.
I have about 20 more post to move. But from here on it's more of the fun stuff. Homeschooling, pictures and BUGS!
Eventually, when I get to start posting new stuff, I am going to include recipes, Hubby's story of his struggle with Pudendal Nerve Entrapment, and my mission trip to Venezuela (eons ago).

I am taking a trip to see my brother and will be gone until next week. But I think there is enough here to keep you occupied for a day or so. All two of you that actually read this blog, that is.

Best Laid Plans

"Free Will" is highly overrated, if you ask me. I find a great deal of comfort in verses like:
  • Proverbs 16:9 The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.
  • Jeremiah 10:23 I know, O Lord, that the way of man is not in himself, that it is not in man who walks to direct his steps.
  • Psalm 119:133 Keep steady my steps according to your promise, and let no iniquity get dominion over me.
  • Psalm 37:23 The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way;

I know that my own heart is "deceitful above all things" (Jer. 17:9) and "only evil continually" (Gen. 6:5). It is an encouragement to me to know that if I seek to obey God and walk in his known will, that I can make my human plans with some measure of confidence (not that I don't often make mistakes!). His Sovereign control over my life will direct me in the way He chooses for me. Which is far better for me anyway. It is not my intention to stir up a debate here. But there is a great deal of Freedom in surrendering to the Sovereignty of God and allowing him to order your steps. It is a much more enjoyable ride when you don't have the responsibility of driving the vehicle.
I have probably posted this before, but its worth repeating. From the Preces Privatae of Lancelot Andrewes, 1555-1626:
Open thou mine eyes and I shall see:

Incline my heart and I shall desire:

Order my steps and I shall walk

In the ways of thy commandments.

O Lord God, be thou to me a God

And beside thee let there be none else,

No other, nought else with thee.

Vouchsafe to me to worship thee and serve thee

According to thy commandments

In truth of spirit,

In revereance of body,

In blessing of lips,

In private and in public.

*originally posted 9/10/07

In Human Terms

The book of John is so rich and deep that you could probably study it for a lifetime without exhausting its truths. One of these truths recently reached out and poked at my brain and I have been pondering it ever since. Specifically, what does it mean to be God’s friend? In chapter 15, Jesus Christ is spending some quiet time with his chosen few in concentrated teaching. He tells of Judas’ betrayal and of Peter’s denial. Then he follows up with some words about bearing fruit, obeying him and being his friend. As I read “You are my friends if you do what I command you”, my mind replays scenes from the years that I taught preschool:
“If you don’t do what I want, I’ll cross you off my list of friends!!” Such juvenile phrases were a common occurrence in that setting. But as with so many other examples, we cannot try to define God in our human terms and understanding. His love is not like our love and his hate is not like our hate because they are not tainted by sin and selfishness. His motive is our ultimate good. Our ultimate good is a deeper fellowship with him, or Abiding as it is stated here in John, and glorifying him. (For a discussion on why that is not the ultimate in arrogance, click here.)
Apply that to this verse in John 15 and you have a completely different picture. Rather than a view of a spoiled, self-centered child we have a view of someone who wants us to be close to him; not because it will benefit him in any way, but because of the joy that fellowship with the highest standard of everything good in the universe will bring to us. Jesus also gives us the quickest route to that fellowship-through obedience to his commandments. Unlike the child who seeks to make others do everything his way out of stubborn selfishness, Christ actually has the authority to ask us to obey him by right of creation and redemption. By his perfection, his way really is also the best way whether we understand it at the time or not.
It stands to reason that we should also not define being friends with God in the same way as being friends with buddy Frank or best friend Amy. Even the best of human friendships are full of emotions, actions and motivations that should not exist in a relationship with God, and indeed cannot exist on his part.

To be continued…

*originally written 2/9/07

I am, therefore I Create

The hobby of letterboxing, which I have mentioned before, combines spending time in God’s creation as well as doing a little creating of your own. As you hunt for the letterboxes, you get to see some very interesting things and places in nature and that always puts me in awe. The complexity and beauty of the plant and animal life is simply astounding. The natural world exists to bring glory to God and it does such a spectacular job of it that when I immerse myself in it, whether by watching a fantastic sunset or by listening to the hush of the forest around me, I completely lose myself in the face of something infinitely greater.
When I make letterboxes for others to find, I bring all of my own creative powers to bear, pathetic as they may be. The thought, time and effort that goes into carving a stamp, creating a handmade logbook, writing the clues and pulling the whole thing together on a theme exhausts the limits of my ability. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy every minute of it! And I am constantly on the lookout for new techniques, different materials and fresh ideas to improve the final product.
All of this made me think: why do we do things like this? Why do we feel the compulsion to create priceless watercolor paintings, or fabulous scrapbook pages, or colorful quilts, or hand carved walnut rocking horses, or delicious new recipes? Across history, nations and people of different walks of life and interests there runs the common thread of the need to create. I can see but one explanation: we were all created in the image of the Ultimate Creator. An image reflects the original. We reflect God, not as a mirror duplicates a reflection in every detail, but rather as a shadow reflects a shape as a dark and vague blur.
We imitate Him because we desire to be like Him. Just as a small child goes through the motions of mixing a cake or swinging a hammer in an effort to be like Mom or Dad, we create things in an effort to be like our Heavenly Father. For a child, imitating is an expression of love. For someone who holds Christ dear, creating something can mean the same expression of love. We love Him, therefore we want to be like Him.
This begs another question. Why do unbelievers create? Someone who does not love God, who is in fact his enemy, would certainly not choose to imitate him. They are still created in His image. I suspect the answer is hidden in that, somehow. But I confess, more thought is necessary before I can proceed.

*originally written 2/5/07

If I could Paint

If I could paint, I would paint a picture of Grace. The difficulty with that would be that my understanding of Grace develops over time, so my painting would be covered with smudges from my revisions. And let’s face it, I can’t paint. But I can write. Scratch that too. I can talk. So I will tell you what my painting would look like, if I could paint.

Start with an image of the most gorgeous sunset that you can imagine. Make it one on a pristine beach somewhere. The colors are soft and warm. There are just enough clouds to give the sky texture and break up the light into an interesting pattern. My first concrete image of Grace was just like that. John 1:16 says “and of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace.” A commentary that I looked it up in described it as waves lapping on the shore, and just like that, my picture of God’s Grace toward us came into being. The water of the ocean, in all its vast immeasurability, quietly and unendingly lapping on the sandy beach, bringing a fresh supply of life-giving nutrients and water to the inhabitants on the shore is a perfect likeness of the all sufficient Grace of our Heavenly Father. His fullness comes to us not just in our times of dire need, but is constantly refilling our reservoir whether we are conscious of it or not. A dimension that a painting cannot give you is sound. Do you hear the waves? When you live near the ocean, the perpetual susurration of the water drops from your normal conscious hearing after awhile. It doesn’t stop. It just ceases to be heard. It only takes something small to bring it back into the realm of your awareness though. How very like our human “selective hearing” is our capacity to let our attention to God slip from our conscious thoughts!
There is something terrifying about the ocean too, but standing here in peace on the beach that terror seems distant and almost impossible. It is the same with the Almighty who created the oceans. When we submit to his Providential Authority, even the most difficult of circumstances came be viewed in the light and peace of His Grace rather than the terror of the unknown.
Now we’ll take a stroll down this beautiful beach. We hear the rush of the water and feel the warmth of the setting sun. A gentle breeze tousles our hair slightly. Holding our sandals in our hand, we pad in the wet sand at the waters edge. When the water is deep enough to swirl around our ankles, take a look behind you. There is nothing there. Every mark, every footstep has been swallowed by the ocean. With each lift of the heel, there is a small slurping sound and the sand and water quickly swirl in, filling each depression and covering all evidence of our passing. Romans 2:1 speaks of “the grace in which we stand”. Taking the picture of the ocean of God’s Grace one step further, we move from seeing the waves endlessly running upon the shore to a broader view; that of being completely immersed and swallowed up by that same Grace. We are surrounded by it, supported by it, and in some ways suppressed by it.
When we imagine standing on the sand watching the lapping of the water, the picture is mostly of God’s Grace coming to us and supplying us with every good thing that our Creator has at his disposal. And that is accurate to a point. But when we imagine being covered by the water and carried away, the picture of the ocean is what fills our minds. Our footprints that vanished behind us no longer enter our thoughts. The most noble and holy efforts of ours here on this earth are not worthy of the slightest glance from the great I AM.(Isa. 64:6) We could spell out the entirety of Scripture in Hebrew and Greek with coconuts on the beach and it would still be diminished by the grandeur of the ocean. While we might not think about our best deeds being erased as an act of Grace, it is. And it goes hand in hand with the Grace of the substitution of the work of Christ for us on the cross.

The next time you need to “find a happy place” in your mind, go to the beach at sunset; but not the beaches in Florida, Hawaii, or the Caribbean. Paint yourself a picture and see the water lapping at your toes, rushing past your knees and carrying you away. Get lost in the ocean of God’s Grace.

*originally written 1/10/07

Making Peace with Christmas

For years I have had "issues" with celebrating Christmas. Not because I dislike it, but rather because I love it and it is such a struggle to make it the God-honoring, Christ-centered Holy Day that I want it to be. I'm sure I've even ranted about it here before.
The breakthrough came this year with a little research. No, I didn't find a way to keep that greedy gleam out of my children's eyes. And No, I didn't learn a convicting comeback to teach the girls to say to all of those people that ask them about Santa. What I found was that Christmas was never meant to be a Christian holiday. And while I have known this for a long time, this year I actually surrendered to it. Other than the rejoicing and worship that took place right at Christ's birth, the Bible never mentions any annual celebrating. His birth and life and death were hardly noticed by most. And that isn't any different today.
The annual celebration of Christmas began as and for a very long time was an excuse for people to get together and enjoy themselves during the long, boring winter. There was nothing religious about it. Then it became a way to honor the pagan gods. And then the puritans outlawed any Christian participation. Then somewhere along the way, someone decided that "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!" and the Christian Christmas was born. (okay, so that is the very abbreviated version.) So, I guess it could be argued that any worship or Christ-honoring celebrating that takes place during the winter holidays is a bonus. This is what I surrendered to this year. It was not a giving in to the secular domination of Christmas, but more a realization that as Christians in this age, we have the great benefit of hindsight. We know the supreme significance of Christ's birth and can choose to celebrate it in ways that the early Christians could not.
And I actually enjoyed Christmastime this year (in spite of having that stomach flu). And now it's over and we have spent most of the day dismantling all of the decorations. The house looks like the Grinch has been here and taken it all. After lugging the last of 13 boxes plus odds and ends to the basement, I looked at J and said, "Phew! Christmas is officially packed away!" And my almost 8 year old replied (in that wise and slightly exasperated tone that an almost 8 year old can get), "But, Mom! You can't ever really pack Christmas away!" And I had to go to my room so that she wouldn't see my tears. Because she gets it.
And that is worth celebrating!

*orignally written 1/7/07

Slipping into something more comfortable

I love Autumn. The smells, the sounds, the colors, the clothes...I love it all. I love the tasks of getting my flower beds tucked in for winter and of feeding "the guys" in the field during harvest. I love the crisp air, crisp apples and crisp leaves. The smells of cinnamon and leaf smoke. The fuzzy clothes and the feel of grain running through my fingers. The crackle of the fireplace that I have missed so much and the honking of the geese. Fall is such a rich sensory feast and I relish it all.
The humming of the combine in the fields around the house in the night reminds me that my best beloved is somewhere near even when I can't see him. The silver shimmer of the dew covered spider web carpet on the lawn in the morning reminds me that there is a bigger world designed by my creator that is not often thought of when we are busy, but it goes on just the same by his design. And the falling leaves and vibrant colors remind me that even death can be spectacular when it is for God's glory.
Every year I long for the change of seasons and the comforts that it brings. But more than that I long to slip into something more comfortable than the sweaters and hot chocolate of Autumn. To be in the presence of my Savior...

*originally written 9/26/06....still waiting...

The Convenience Diet

In my reading a while ago, I discovered a verse (okay, it was there all the time, but I just noticed it): Proverbs 30:8b, 9. It says, "Give me neither poverty or riches; feed me with food convenient for me: Lest I be full, and deny thee, and say 'Who is the Lord?' or lest I be poor, and steal, and take the name of my God in vain."

There is a lot packed in that passage, but what stuck out at me was the "food convenient for me". I knew it wasn't talking about White Hen Pantry or Wendy's. So, I've been pondering that for a few weeks. And finally, while I was stuffing my face with the sweet corn fresh out of the field tonight, it came to me.

Back when Agur (the writer of this particular Proverb) put pen to paper, they ate a little differently. Without refrigeration or freezing capacity, they ate what was in season or freshly provided. Our modern day supermarkets, international shipping, and food storage ability make every form of produce, grain, and meat a convenience any time we choose. But it has not always been so.

Another thought that relates is: Why is it that certain foods appeal to us in different seasons, but not others? Canned pumpkin is available all the time, yet not only do I not make pumpkin pie in the summertime, but it doesn't even sound good then. Why? Similarly, we eat hearty soups and stews in the fall and winter, but the thought of them on a day like today (when the heat index is at 110) almost makes me ill (or is that all that sweet corn talking?). In January I don't daydream of watermelons, and in July I don't dream of butternut squash. Why?

Could it possible have something to do with our Supreme Creator being wise enough to tailor our desires to what would naturally be available at the time?

An even bigger question is, What would happen to our lifestyle, our health, and our physique if we went back to eating what was "convenient" for us? The concordance defines the word as "an enactment: hence an appointment of (time, space, quantity, labor or usage). Other versions translate the word as needful, or my portion.

This is definately going to take some more pondering.

*originally written 8/21/06

Not Too Bright

*this was originally posted after we had built and moved into our house and were still having issues finding and sealing all of the unwanted entrance points. We live in a corn field. What did we expect?

In the continuing saga of our house “guest” removal, we have been placing traps on the counter at night. The first night, the lights had only been off in the kitchen for about five minutes when the first trap snapped. Another five minutes passed and the second trap went. When I went down to empty and reload, the first trap had been slicked clean by the second mouse before he moved to the second trap. How smart is that? To eat from the trap right next to your recently departed companion and then move on to your own demise is not too bright.
But it sounds all too human. The Bible tells us “For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.” (Rom. 15:4) How many times have we looked at the examples of the nation of Israel in the Old Testament and thought “How dumb could they be? Didn’t they remember what happened the last time they stopped following God’s commands?” How many times have we looked at the Pharisees or even the disciples in the New Testament and thought that we would have done things differently and “How could they have been so blind?”
Whether you look at the history of the world, the history of one nation in particular, or our own personal history, it doesn’t take long to realize that what teachers are so fond of saying is true. “History repeats itself because we don’t learn from the past.” Why is that? Perhaps it is because with our so-called “superior technology” and immediate access to a vast wealth of information we feel that we are in some way above our ancestors, smarter than them or impervious to the mistakes that they made. Perhaps we underestimate the power that Satan holds in this world (albeit, a power granted to him by the Almighty) or the strength with which he tries to woo us. Or perhaps it is that we overestimate our own strength and cannot accurately understand the position that our ancestors found themselves in when they made the mistakes that are so obvious to us.
Whatever the reason, we find ourselves both globally and personally making the same blunders as those who came before us. We step in the same traps they did. We’re still Not Too Bright.

Are you Plugged in?

Have you ever seen the science fiction movie series “The Matrix”? If not, please don’t waste over six hours of your life! Let me give you a summary instead (since I have already wasted the time!).
Several hundred years in the future the A.I. that man created has rebelled and conquered the human race which it now uses for its sole energy source. Almost every person on the planet is unaware that they are slaves to the machines because their minds are engaged in living out normal lives in a virtual reality world that the machines created to keep the humans convinced that they are still free, and therefore passive. Of course there are rebels who are free and are trying to free the rest of humanity by “jacking in” to the matrix (virtual reality world) and convincing others to join the revolution. You get the picture.
Without trying to glorify the movie, there are several obvious parallels that could be drawn.
Our Christian lives are supposed to be radically different than that of the world. But how often do we get drawn in to the reality that Satan has designed for us instead of living victoriously and separating ourselves for the purpose of glorifying God? And I’m not just talking about all of the television and electronic distractions available. So many times I find myself doing things just because that is what everyone does or because that is what is expected of me or the way we have always done it.
We buy our children piles of presents at Christmas. Why? And don’t give me the excuse that we do it because the wise men gave gifts to Jesus. Why do we decorate our houses with lights? Why do we have a Christmas tree? Once again, the excuse that it represents the cross doesn’t hold since it was the Druids that started the tradition. Easter egg hunts and chocolate bunnies, costumes on Halloween, staying up until midnight on New Year’s Eve and many more holiday traditions have become suspect to me (and why do so many of them involve candy?!).
And holidays don’t hold the only culprits. Why do pastors feel the need to cut sermons short on Super Bowl Sunday? What is the purpose of the AWANA Grand Prix? How many of our daily and weekly habits are done just by Rote? How many of even our religious practices make Satan pleased because they are so much less than they should be?
Maybe I’m just in a mood or going through a phase, but I doubt it. I foresee some radical change in our future. I want to unplug from the Matrix!!

*originally written 4/18/06

Another Weighty Matter

After the heavy discussion on the weight of the world, I’ve been doing some thinking on another weighty matter. That would be me. Now, after you gasp at what I’m about to say, please, at least finish reading. I don’t think dieting is Biblical. I think our society has a very warped view of beauty and self worth, and the resulting diet and fitness craze is a huge extension of that. It is probably unnecessary to go any further on that topic to this audience.
The Christian mindset is almost as bad, however. A large majority of people who believe in the things of God adhere to the same popular diets and exercise regimens that have reached cult like proportions in the rest of the nation.

I would challenge you to study these things from a Biblical perspective. How do you picture Ruth, Esther, Deborah and the Virtuous Woman? As a size six, with long flowing dark hair, big eyes with long lashes and slender hands with perfectly manicured nails? That would be Hollywood’s influence. Think about the culture, way of life and climate that they lived in. Few modern conveniences, as we know them, existed to make their work load easier. Large extended families, a harsh climate and food types available were all contributing factors. As far I can tell, they did not have such an obsession with their weight, fat content and “Body Mass Index” either! Perhaps, as in other cultures, a “well rounded” woman was considered beautiful and a compliment to her husband’s ability to provide for his family. Don’t misunderstand. I am not saying that they were ugly, grotesque woman. I believe they were strong, fit ladies (Prov. 31 says she girded her loins with strength) who were meet representatives of their husbands as well as their God. I just don’t see them wasting a whole lot of time doing Pilates and counting calories, carbs, fat grams, or whatever else we’re supposed to count now days.

Balance seems to be the key in this as it is in everything else. Eating sensibly, working hard and looking to our health seem to be better goals than wearing a certain size or weighing only so much. There is much more in the Bible about control than there are size specifications. What sense does it make to prepare separate meals for myself apart from the rest of the family, or spend exorbitant amounts of my husband’s money on specialty foods? I should use the mind that God has given me to prepare healthy, satisfying meals for everyone and only eat what I need. I also have a suspicion that if I did half of the work here at home that needs doing, then not only would I not have time for exercising, but I would have no cause!

I Peter 3:4 says it very well: “but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.” No mention of dress size.

*originally written 3/21/06

The Weight of the World

Here is a theoretical question with which to short circuit your children’s brains (or your own).
If half of the Earth’s population (Say 3 billion people) each lost 10 pounds, would our planet weigh 60 billion pounds less? In other words, is the weight of the world constant, or can it be changed?

“A fundamental principle of classical physics is the law of conservation of mass, which states that matter cannot be created or destroyed. This law holds true in chemical reactions but is modified in cases where atoms disintegrate and matter is converted to energy or energy is converted to matter.”
Microsoft® Encarta® Encyclopedia 2003. © 1993-2002 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

When we build skyscrapers or pave half of our cities with asphalt, all of the materials that we use come from the earth at some point. We are essentially creating no new matter. The entire water supply on the planet is constantly being recycled, but not added to or subtracted from.
Similarly, when we plant grain for the purpose of producing more grain or a baby grows from an embryo to a 40 year old adult, new matter is not being created, although at first glance, you’d think so. Living things reproduce tissue or reproduce themselves by converting one form of matter, water and nutrients already in existence, into another form of matter, new cells. So, in all these things, we are affecting the globe, but not its weight.

One exception to the law of the conservation of mass stated above (or should I say modification?), is when energy is converted to matter. Then your talking about the theory of relativity, E=mc2, and reactions taking place on the particulate level and very quickly you get way beyond me. However, I think I understand it enough to say that it probably isn’t going to affect the weight of the world.

When we exercise, however, we convert matter (our fat) into energy (or modification #2). Energy weighs nothing. At least I assume it weighs nothing. If enough weight was “lost” would you be able to measure the change if you had a scale big enough?

By the “weigh”, the Earth weighs 6 x 1024 kilograms. Roughly.

Now for the answer, and, Yes, I had to look it up. The weight of the earth and its gravitational pull, my weight and my gravity and that of everyone else all interact and affect each other. Weight really is more about gravity and mass, than, well…weight. If everyone on the planet got in spaceships and left, the affect would be almost unnoticeable. The total mass and gravity of humans, all six-point-something-billion of us, is insignificant compared to the Earth. And the Earth is rather insignificant in the grand scheme of this galaxy. And the Milky Way Galaxy is insignificant in the grand scheme of the Universe. Feel small yet?
God chose to love you and me and sent his only Son for us in spite of our insignificance. What’s more, he created us in His image. How’s that for a quick pick-me-up?

*originally written 3/18/06

Lying on the Wind

Wind on the Hill
A.A.Milne

No one can tell me.
Nobody knows.
Where the wind comes from,
Where the wind goes.

It’s flying from somewhere
As fast as it can.
I couldn’t keep up with it.
Not if I ran.

But if I stopped holding
The string of my kite,
It would blow with the wind
For a day and a night.

And then when I found it
Wherever it blew,
I should know that the wind
Had been going there too.

So then I could tell them
Where the wind goes
But where the wind comes from
Nobody knows.


Tom he was a piper’s son
He learned to play when he was young.
And all the tune that he could play-
was “Over the hills and far away.”

Over the hill and a great way off
The wind shall blow my top knot off!

This time of year, here in the country, it is likely that you will lose at least your hat to our wind, if not your hair too! But you learn to make adjustments and enjoy the benefits-like not having to rake leaves or push your children on the swings. J
Nature has long given us pictures of the power of God. The wind is no exception. Tornadoes and Hurricanes are obvious examples, but even the slightest breeze has a refreshing effect. Are you at a point in your life where you need to be refreshed? Or perhaps you need a storm to shake things loose?
The Bible gives us many examples of how the Almighty used the wind to accomplish his purpose: drying the earth after the Flood, parting rivers and the Red Sea, driving the locust from Egypt, bringing quail to the Israelite’s camp, flattening Job’s house, chastening Jonah (twice!), and many, many more. “He rides on the wings of the wind;” Ps. 104:3, “Who has gathered the wind in his fists?” Pro. 30:4, “who makes lightnings for the rain and brings forth the wind from his storehouses.” Ps. 135:7 A.A.Milne might not know where the wind comes from, but we sure do. Sometimes the wind is our enemy, sometimes it is our friend, but it is always at God’s beck and call.

In my elementary years, I remember discovering that on very windy days, I could lay the entire weight of my body on the wind and not fall down. Just like a kite I could be supported by the air, but I had very little control over it. The same is true today. I cannot control the great I AM, and wouldn’t presume to try! But I can trust Him to hold me up in any circumstance, good or bad. There is one condition though. I have to lie down in order to feel the thrill of being supported by my Maker alone.

*originally written 3/16/06

Right Under Your Nose

Have you ever had a conversation like this?
M (age 3 1/2) comes into the kitchen and asks:
"Where is my other pink slipper?"
"Well, where did you find the first one?"
"Behind the couch in the living room."
"Then the other slipper is probably somewhere near where you found the first one." (I know this because I picked it up the night before.)
(after walking into the living room) "I can't find it."
"Did you look in the boxes of toys and doll things?"
(after looking at, but not touching the boxes) "I don't think it's there. Maybe it is upstairs."
"It is not upstairs. You need to take the toys out of the boxes and actually look for the slipper."
(several seconds later, no rummaging in boxes heard) "I can't see it. I'll just wear one."
"No, M. The other pink slipper is in the box with the doll toys and dress up stuff. Trust me. I know it is there. Just go look!"
(maybe a minute later) "It's not there. I'll just go up and get the purple one."
"I don't care if you do get the purple ones, but not until you go in the living room and find that other pink slipper!! (I'm now leading, ok, dragging her by the hand and pointing) "It is in THIS box, right where I told you it would be! I can even see it sticking out!!"
(Granted, her easy going nature and flexibility are an asset most of the time, but not when any measure of determination is called for!)

Now I'm wondering if God has ever felt the same way towards me (but without the frustration and yelling)?
"You asked me for guidance and I told you where to look."
"But I can't see it."
"It's there, but you have to actually look."
"I still can't find it."
"Trust me. It's there. Try the book of James."
And so on...

He has given us all the direction that we need, but it is up to us to search and seek and find. Matthew 7:7 "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened unto you."
It's right under our noses, but we have to actively look!

*originally written 3/10/06

Defragmenting Life

Every so often my computer gets the hiccups, and then I know it is time to go through the files, dump all of the junk and run the defragment program on the hard drive. Most of you probably know about defrag, but for those of you who don't (and should)... As you work on your computer, adding, deleting and moving things, your hard drive gets disorganized. Bits and pieces and fragments get scattered around and then it takes longer for your computer to find what it needs. Defragmenting puts everything back where it belongs. Ta-da!
I find that my life needs a little defragmenting now and then. Some of the problem is in the physical realm where I just need to sort through, throw away the junk and put everything else back in its rightful place. But other areas sometimes need work too, like my schedule or priorities.
The biggest indicator in my life that tells me I need to defrag is our diet. When the convenience foods start appearing on the shelves, it's time to look at my schedule. Yes, "fast food" is, well, faster and therefore easier. But it's not better and it means that I am having to take shortcuts because some other area of my time management has gone haywire.
People often have a misunderstanding of what it means to have a simpler life. It is not doing everything in the easiest way possible. It is doing the best job at the things that you do, but doing fewer things. How many of us stay-at-home moms have been told by those who aren't that they just don't think they could feel "fulfilled" doing what we are doing! I would suggest then that they aren't doing it right. There is a great deal of satisfaction in becoming proficient at the diminishing home arts. Having the mailman want to stay for dinner because he can smell the wonderful aroma from my kitchen or having a friend ask me to teach her daughter how to Hardanger (Norwegian needlepoint) are among the highest compliments that I could receive. Better yet is when my husband or children would rather that I do something for them than others because I do it better.
And since I have never been complimented on a box of macaroni and cheese, it may be time to do a little defragmenting in my life! Dump the junk, put everything back in place and Ta-Da!

*originally written 3/9/06

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

It's not Arrogance if it's True

As sinful human beings, we often fall into the trap of thinking that the world revolves around us. It could show itself when someone is relating an experience and we must put in our two bits because we view our similar experience of more value because it was harder, more painful, more exciting, etc. (i.e., "My pregnancy was harder than yours because I was in labor for fifteen minutes longer and I did it without an epidural.").
Or maybe others feel bullied into following our suggestions because we have left little doubt that our opinion must carry more significant weight than theirs (i.e., "I have attended this church much longer than you and I took a decorating course at the local community college and so therefore my choice of color for the church bathrooms must be better.").
There are many other examples. "My hat is prettier than yours because I wove it myself from reeds in my exotic flower garden." "My child is smarter than yours because he can name all 206 bones in the human body." "My chili recipe is better than yours..."
There is way too much pride running loose on our planet.

Now here is a thought that comes close to short circuitting my brain every time: God seeks those who will worship him and give him glory. Yet, far from being sin, as it would be if I were to do the same, it is for our own good! Rather than being the epitome of arrogance, it is a selfless act.

This is how that works:
1. God wants us to have the absolute best that he can give us.
2. He is the undisputed best thing in the universe. This is not pride, because it is fact. I cannot claim to have the best chili in the world because I cannot feasibly compare mine to all the other chili recipes in the world. On the other hand, every person can and has been measured against God's standard and been found wanting (Rom. 3:23).
3. Therefore, for us to have the best, He must give us Himself. He began that when he sent Christ to the cross for our sins. But there is more than that. The cross only made a way for us to be able to experience Him. Please do not read that I am diminishing the importance of Calvary! Without Christ's sacrifice, our sin makes it impossible for us to have any part of Him!
4. In order to give us himself, often our Heavenly Father must take something else away first. You and I might take a Twinkie away from our child in order to give her a piece of fresh fruit. The child is going to complain even if we have her best interest in mind. When our Sovereign Lord takes something away from us, we often feel sorry for ourselves because we do not realize that clinging to Him in its absence is better for us than the thing we lost.
5. Worshipping and glorifying God is the way we "get" the most of Him (the best thing in the universe). John Piper says "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." Our satisfaction is most evident when things do not appear to be going our way. It's easy to be satisfied when you're lying on the beach, but the world takes notice when you sing in the dungeon. Whether it be in sickness, poverty, or persecution (times when something has been taken away from us), it really is in our best interest to glorify him most at those times. This goes far beyond merely trusting him to get you through. It's about sheer delight that God has taken something from you in order to give you more of himself. It isn't really loss at all. It's Grace.
Don't miss the opportunities when they come. Don't miss the Grace. It truly is greater than anything this life has to offer.

Presumption

“I want to know Christ.
I keep Him before me.
I lift up my eyes,
I drink in His glory.”
This song has been running in my head for weeks now. It truly is one of my greatest desires to be able to know my God. I long for the eternal life promised to His children if only so that I may spend that eternity beginning to understand what He is really like.

“For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities--all things were created through him and for him.
And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” Col. 1:16, 17

How presumptuous to think that we can know what God is like, what he thinks, or feels, or will or will not do! How arrogant to think that we can know with any certainty anything about him, his plans or his character.

“Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! “
"For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor?"
"Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?"
“For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.” Romans 11:33-36

He needs our permission for nothing, has no cause to explain himself to us, and does not require or desire our advice. He is complete and perfect in and of Himself.

Yet we are encouraged to seek him in the Scriptures that he has left for us and we can learn of him. We can learn that He loves. The Bible, in fact, tells us that he is love. But it would be a mistake to think that his love in any way resembles human love. His love is perfect, unselfish, unconditional, and without fail. Our human love is not.
We can learn that he hates. Yet in the same way that his love is not like ours, neither is his hate. He hates without sin. His hatred is Just. What of ours?
We can learn that He is pure. Yet our understanding of purity is tainted because we live in a tainted world. We have no examples around us of true purity and therefore our very idea of the purity of God is at best flawed.
We can learn that He is light, but what do we truly know of light? Our Sun, from the very moment that Adam and Eve sinned, has been dying. Our imperfect eyes, coupled with all of the things in our atmosphere obscure its light from us. We know that the Almighty God is light and in him is no darkness at all (I John 1:5). He is pure light. Imagine being at the flashpoint of an atomic explosion. Even that is not pure light. Now imagine looking at pure light. What would happen? That light, rather than being dimmed by imperfection, would obscure all else. And that is what it would be like to see God. Only when we come to realize this can we begin to know God. When we can say that in looking at Him we are blinded, and in knowing Him we understand that He cannot be known by us, then we are free to worship Him in spirit and in truth (John 4:23,24).

Marriage is a picture of the relationship of Christ and the Church. I don’t think that any married couple would argue that no matter how long you are with someone, you find that you are just beginning to get to know them. How much more is that true of our relationship with our Heavenly Father?

Think on this, would you really love and want to serve a God who could be completely understood? How then would He be any different from us? I, for one, want to give my devotion, feeble though it may be, only to One who is bigger than myself. Unfathomable. Inexhaustible. Unsearchable. Incomprehensible.

*originally posted on 3/2/06

Sequences

Patrick McManus writes a very funny story about Sequences. Basically, he wants to do something fun, like fishing, but there is a small obstacle in the way, like needing a higher test fishing line. However, in order to clear the obstacle he gets sucked into a sequence of events and never actually gets to go fishing at all. His wife wants him to pick something up in town when he goes to get the line, but in order to do that he has to return a post hole digger that he borrowed, but he hasn’t finished using it because he needs to borrow a tool from his neighbor to help with the project, but in order to do that he has to… you get the idea. In the end, he avoids the Sequence altogether and just goes fishing with the line he already has. It really is worth reading the whole story. If You Give a Mouse a Cookie and the other books by Laura Numeroff are great children’s examples of Sequences.

Now, Sequences happen here all the time. This is especially true for us, since we farm. 90% of farming is working on the equipment, or tinkering. As any farm wife knows, 90% of tinkering is just staring at the thing. And it is always going to take four times longer for the men to complete the project than their initial estimated time frame. If they say it will take about an hour and then they can be back to help you hang that shelf before lunch, save yourself the nagging and just hang it yourself. And don’t start lunch until you see the whites of their eyes because they aren’t going to be back (it invariably involves a trip to Farm & Fleet) until after two o’clock and by then they will have already stopped somewhere for a “quick bite”, all without bothering to give you a heads-up. (But I digress…)
Granted, they can’t help it. It’s the Sequence’s fault. Even if you don’t farm, I’m sure you can relate. Your child needs to read a book about Abraham Lincoln, so you’re going to take him to the library to get one. But he has a science book due tomorrow and since you’d rather not make two trips, you’ll have him finish that book first. But he also needs that book to make a poster for an assignment and you don’t have any poster board…

These are innocent examples, but many times, Sin is the same way. One small thing that you did leads you to lie about it, which in turn leads to something else and before you know it a swirling vortex has opened at your feet and you feel helplessly sucked in. “But each person is tempted when he is lured by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” (James 1:14, 15)
In my Bible, I have written by this passage:
  • Sin will always take you farther than you wanted to go.
  • It will keep you longer than you planned to stay.
  • It will demand more than you wanted to give.
  • It’s “rewards” will last shorter than you thought.

    Beware of Sequences!

Naughty Days

J and M seem to coordinate their days so that their bad behavior tends to cluster. Fortunately, those days are infrequent. The last one included cutting the kitten Moppet's hair with pink safety scissors (M), taking the keys out of the door to the computer cpu and losing them (M), slamming the door on little sister's face (J), lots of "unsharing" and fighting (J,M) and yelling (J, M, Mommy).

At the point when I hollered "What is the matter with both of you today?", I remembered Job's wife.

Strangely enough, I like Job's wife. And I love Job's response to her. In the midst of all of the horrible things that are happening to them (she lost a lot too, remember), she despairs and says, "Why don't you just curse God and die? Just end this already." Many men would have probably smacked her at that point. Not Job. He calmly tells her that she sounds like one of the foolish women. He does not say that she is a foolish woman, just that she sounds like them when she talks that way. If I could take the liberty of editing his comment, it might sound something like, "What is the matter with you today? This isn't how you normally act. Right now, you sound like those silly, foolish women. Pull yourself together!" And throughout the rest of the book, we don't hear another word out of her. Job said exactly what she needed to hear to restore her to her former quiet, trusting self.

Job's wife reminds me that we all have our "Naughty Days"; days when we act out at those we love, days when we are selfish, proud or despairing. None of us are immune. But that doesn't have to be the norm. Sometimes we just need a reminder from Scripture or someone who loves us that "this isn't who you really are", and we can get back on track.

So, we found the keys, laughed at Moppett' s new "do" (glad that it's on the cat and not the kid), and everyone said they were sorry to everyone else. Now we're good-to-go. Until our next naughty day.

The whole book of Job is quite fascinating, but the account with his wife is in 2:9,10. Start at 1:1 for the background. John Piper has some interesting and related things to say as well.

*origianally posted 2/23/06

If I could hire three people...

...one of them would spend the day following J & M around answering all of their myriads of questions. Another would be responsible for picking up, washing, drying, folding, and putting away the laundry (you know that job can keep a person busy for 8 hours a day!). The last I would keep in reserve for all of those tasks that seem to pop up out of nowhere and create lots of stress in life. Forgot that your child needs birthday treats for Awana? More library books have come in, even though you've already been three times this week? Your sister calls with a plea for an emergency babysitter? Don't worry, have the Reserve Help do it!!

On second thought, if it was someone else's job to answer my children, I would miss all of the really interesting questions. "How fast does a Beta fish's heart beat?", "Why do they always make the words in books black and not other colors?, "What does 'abrasion' mean?", "What shape is an antibody?", "What is the biggest number?", "If a polygon had one hundred sides, what would it be called?", "What does 'obliged' mean?" And on, and on, and on. And on. But maybe I should keep that job myself.
And if I had someone else to fall back on when I drop the ball or life happens, then I would have one less chance to rely on my Heavenly Father for grace and strength and the ability to come up with creative solutions. And I wouldn't be able to use those opportunities to teach my girls the life and character lessons that they contain or show them that it's alright to make mistakes and say you're sorry. So maybe I should keep that job also.

I'd still hire someone for the laundry though.

*originally posted on 2/21/2006

Calling His Bluff

Most people who would probably spend the night before a week's vacation packing. I spent it writing, reading, and talking to Satan. Now, please don't bail out as fast as you can thinking I'm a lost cause. I didn't say it was a friendly conversation.

I wrote a short note to my Mommy (it included the silly little poem My Heart's Desire which might have put me in the frame of mind for what follows) and mailed it. Since I talk to her several times on most days, other than special occasion cards, I can't remember the last time I sent her something for no reason at all. Satan took that opportunity to put the thought in my mind that "perhaps it was because it would be my last. Maybe none of us would be coming home from this trip."

The devil is quite adept at playing mind games like: "what if?", "I should have...", "if only...", "does God really...?", and so on. The best defense is always scripture. And it's also okay to hide behind Christ and the Cross until he goes away. But I was tired of being bullied and so I decided to call Satan's bluff.

"Satan, I'll speak out loud, since I know you are not All-Knowing like God is and can't read my thoughts. You still might not hear me, though, since you're not Everywhere like God is. But let's just lay these cards on the table and see what you've got. What if tonight is my last night on earth? What if our plane goes down in flames tomorrow? Hmmm...let me see. Then we go to Heaven to be with the One who created us, who we want to be with more than anything, anyway, and you lose! If that doesn't happen, then your "prophecy" is false, you prove yourself a liar, and you lose! And didn't they stone false prophets?
"What else have you got? Would I have any regrets? I don't think so, but let me think a minute... Nope, I've got nothing. Sure there are people that I would leave behind, but they will all eventually be joining me, and there are a few books left to read and things to see, but nothing compared to being in the presence of Jesus Christ. I can think of nothing that I feel a desperate urgency to do or remedy or have any remorse over. So I think we're done here!"

I went to bed with the most incredible sense of peace that night thinking about the Apostle Paul and his words,
as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. (Phil 1:20, 21)
And unlike most nights before an exciting event, I actually slept!

*originally posted Feb 19th, 2006

The Day God Remembers

Not that God would actually forget something, per se, but there are a number of passages in Scripture that talk about His remembering as well as his forgetting. When you take a closer look at them and realize what that means, it is enough to make a person pause for a long hard think.

It seems that there are about four categories that can be applied to God’s remembering. The first is a group of verses where one person, for example-King David, is praying that The LORD will remember them in their troubles and do something about it. In these verses, God has not actually forgotten them, but it seems that way to the one praying. How many times has it felt that the Lord was not paying attention and I have thought that I needed to remind him?! “Lord, remember me? I’m still here, waiting for a Little Help, if you wouldn’t mind!” Our time frame is seldom the same as His.

Secondly, there are a number of verses where someone else feels the need to “remind” God of his covenant with his people, or God himself “remembers” his covenant. God, who is Omniscient, does not truly have the capacity to forget, as we forget. These verses are merely his way of saying to us, “Yes, I remember my promises. I remember them even when you have not held up your end of the bargain. I will remember them forever.”

Now comes the interesting part. The last two categories are those of God’s remembering iniquity (Jer. 14:10) and remembering to forget iniquity (Heb. 8:12). What a terrible thing for the Almighty to remember my sin! The pain that I have caused him surely deserves all of the punishment that his perfect justice could wield! But, Oh, the sweet relief at His promise to remember it no more! The delight that fills my soul at the thought of the Eternal God putting my iniquity an infinite distance from me (Psalm 103:12) and then taking me to Himself!

What an incentive for me to “pursue holiness” (Heb. 12:14): knowing first that the judgment of God is perfectly deserved and perfectly meted out. Everyone who receives punishment from the Almighty receives it justly and with no excuses. I would not want to be in the place of one like the false prophetess Noadiah in Nehemiah 6 when the Lord “remembered” her! “It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God. (Heb. 10:31)”
The flip side of the incentive comes in understanding that “…He Himself knows our frames; He remembers that we are but dust (Psalm 103:14).” He is aware of our fallibility and “if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (I John 1:9)”!!

May we pray with Habbakuk, “…in wrath, remember mercy”!

*Originally posted Feb 9th, 2006

Critical Thinking and Faith

Critical thinking is one of those buzz words of the home schooling community. Several people have even told me that I am a critical thinker, but I’m not sure where they get that idea. To be honest, I’m not even sure of the scientific, dictionary definition of critical thinking. If it means being wary of taking everything at face value and always asking questions, then I stand guilty as charged. If it has something to do with super intelligence and higher brain functions, then they’ve got the wrong person.
There doesn’t seem to be any place for critical thinking when it comes to the Bible and understanding God though. At least not at first. At first, it looks like there are contradictions, inaccuracies, and just plain ridiculousness with no possible explanation. That is because God asks us to come first in faith, as a child would. One answer that always seems to satisfy my children is “Because that is the way God wanted it.” They might not understand any better (and apparently, neither do I if that is the only answer that I can give them), but they grasp that God knows best and they can let it go at that. That is what God wants of me as well. “I don’t understand, Lord, but you know best and I trust you.” Then as we accept in faith and just believe what He says, over time the pieces fall together and the picture becomes clear. What seemed to be an error now makes perfect sense. There will be things that we may not understand while we are here on Earth, but God gives us enough answers to enable us to trust him with the rest. But Faith must come first.
It is then that the critical thinking gets fun. When we believe His Word to be true, then we can begin to ask questions and scrutinize and dig for the nuggets that he has left for us. For instance, have you ever read a passage of Scripture and then put it on and wore it like a garment for the rest of the day? Imagine what it was like to be the people, absorb the flavor of the culture and see how it affects the meaning and application of the passage. What were the smells and sounds and sights of the Garden as Adam walked in the evening with the Creator? What was the physical presence of God like? How much fun was it to name all of the animals? Did it surprise Him when Eve said that the serpent spoke to her, or was that a common occurrence before the Fall? Did Adam stand witness when God slew the first animal to make clothing for him because of his sin, an animal that he had named and perhaps talked to? Did he see that first bloodshed later in his dreams? Did it help him to understand what his redemption would one day cost Jesus?
One small portion of scripture can often yield an entire day’s worth of thought. It can stand up to the most intense scrutiny and bear the most amazing results. And I am no longer surprised when I come away with more questions then when I started.

*originally posted Feb 5th, 2006

The Merrymakers

I am often surprised at what I find in Scripture. It is not that I am making any "new" discoveries or that I have a special insight unlike anyone else. Sometimes it just seems that when you focus on a detail that would otherwise seem insignificant, what you find can be amazing. The following is an example:

In my Psalms reading, I have discovered another “role” that God has for His women:
Psalm 68:24, 25 says,”They have seen Your procession, O God, The procession of my God, my King, into the sanctuary. The singers went on, the musicians after them, In the midst of the maidens beating tambourines.

HMM! That’s interesting. It turns out that there is a bit more scripture on this than I had ever noticed before.

“And Miriam the prophetess, the sister of Aaron, took a timbrel in her hand; and all the women went out after her with timbrels and with dances. And Miriam answered them, Sing ye to the LORD, for he hath triumphed gloriously; the horse and his rider hath he thrown into the sea.” (Ex 15:20-21)
“And Jephthah came to Mizpeh unto his house, and, behold, his daughter came out to meet him with timbrels and with dances: and she [was his] only child; beside her he had neither son nor daughter.” (Jud 11:34)
“And see, and, behold, if the daughters of Shiloh come out to dance in dances, then come ye out of the vineyards, and catch you every man his wife of the daughters of Shiloh, and go to the land of Benjamin.” (Jud 21:21)
“And it came to pass as they came, when David was returned from the slaughter of the Philistine, that the women came out of all cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet King Saul, with tabrets, with joy, and with instruments of music. And the women answered [one another] as they played, and said, Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands.” (1Sa 18:6-7)
“And the servants of Achish said unto him, [Is] not this David the king of the land? Did they not sing one to another of him in dances, saying, Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands?” (1Sa 21:11)
“[Is] not this David, of whom they sang one to another in dances, saying, Saul slew his thousands, and David his ten thousands?” (1Sa 29:5)
“Tell [it] not in Gath, publish [it] not in the streets of Askelon; lest the daughters of the Philistines rejoice, lest the daughters of the uncircumcised triumph.” (2Sa 1:20)
“Take a psalm, and bring hither the timbrel, the pleasant harp with the psaltery.” (Ps 81:2)
“Let them praise his name in the dance: let them sing praises unto him with the timbrel and harp.” (Ps 149:3)
“Again I will build thee, and thou shalt be built, O virgin of Israel: thou shalt again be adorned with thy tabrets, and shalt go forth in the dances of them that make merry.” (Jer. 31:4)

From these verses, and I would guess that there are more, I gather that it was a normal custom for the women to come out when their men returned from a victorious battle to sing and dance before the Lord in honor of His victory over their enemies. The men were probably tired from the fight, but for the women it was a Parade!
A few things pop out at me right away. The women must have had some sort of forerunner or scout that returned before the rest of the army to tell them the outcome of the battle. (as women, we are sure good at our grapevines, aren’t we?) They would have needed a little head start to freshen up their faces, put on their party clothes and grab the tambourines.
Also, if this was the custom, then Jephthah should have known that his daughter would greet him in this manner when he returned from defeating the sons of Ammon. His vow truly was rash. I learned later that there was also a legal provision that would have allowed Jephthah to redeem his daughter with silver had he known the law and taken advantage of it. His ignorance twice condemned her. (See Judges 11:29-40 for the whole story.)

These women lifted up their victorious men in such a way that other nations heard of it (1 Sam 18, 21, 29).
The custom was not limited to the women of Israel (2 Sam. 1:20).
Some times it speaks of the virgins performing the custom, and other times it does not specify. A woman's class, wealth, or station seems to make no difference in her participation.
In the passage in 1 Chronicles 15, when David brings the ark of the covenant to it’s rightful place in Jerusalem after being stolen and returned by the Philistines, he dances before the Lord in the same manner. His wife Michal despises him for this. Could it be that she saw it as “woman’s work” and her problem was not just that he was “naked” (or clothed in his ephod rather than his royal robes)? Perhaps, if she had performed the custom for her husband, there would not have been a need for him to do it himself. It is also interesting to note in 2 Sam. 6:20-23 the remainder of the incident. Michal chastises David for being undignified before his servant’s maids, who were probably dancing with him according to the custom. David defends himself quite well to her by saying that it was before the Lord that he was dancing, not man. He continues by saying that he would be humbled much worse than that in the future, but that he would be distinguished in the eyes of the maids. (Was this possibly because the lower class is always edified when those above them stoop for a time to help in their humble duties?) Michal’s punishment was barrenness until the day of her death (a sentence passed by God, or by David?).
A look in the Strong’s Concordance reveals that the word for “dances” used in these verses is the same in every case except for David’s. The definitions looked identical, but the primary root word was different. (I need to consult another source.) It used the words “whirl” and “twirl”. I don’t think that I can derive from these passages that it was an organized, choreographed dance. Neither can I imagine that it was an animal-like frenzy. A happy jumping for joy comes to mind.
What implications does this carry for me? The most obvious would be an unabashed display at God’s victories in my life. Make it colorful, loud and full of joy!
I think it can also be said that the same display needs to be given to God’s triumphs accomplished through my husband. How true that our men often come home victorious, but too exhausted from the battle to celebrate. That's when their women need to step in and step lively!

Fertile Ground, part 9

First Fruits
It is always exciting to go out to the garden just for a look only to come back with that first armload of produce. My garden never ceases to astound me. No matter how much I neglect it, it still plugs away at completing it's God-programmed mission. The seeds sprout, the plants mature, the fruits appear and eventually feed our family. Granted, if I actually spend time tending the plants, they are likely to produce significantly better. But that is another discussion.

Hauling in a heap of beans and more snow peas than I know what to do with started me thinking about what the Old Testament says about "first fruits".

  • "The best of the firstfruits of your ground you shall bring into the house of the LORD your God." Exodus 23:19
  • "And behold, now I bring the first of the fruit of the ground, which you, O LORD, have given me." Deuteronomy 26:10
  • "Honor the LORD with your wealth and with the firstfruits of all your produce;" Proverbs 3:9

Many of us have had it wrong. The paycheck comes in and we designate a prescribed amount for The Lord. But that is not how the scenario works out in my garden. When I bring in the first fruits, I have no idea what the final yield will be. So to give the Lord of the first fruits of my garden would be an estimated guess at best. For that guess to be accurate-- or perhaps appropriate would be a better word--I need to consider how much time and effort I am planning on spending to make the garden a success. I also would want to err on the generous side, so as not to cheat the Lord out of what is rightfully His, especially since He provided it all in the first place.

It gets a little trickier when trying to apply the "first fruits principle" to the other things that we might tithe: time, talents, resources, etc. I know beforehand that I will have 1440 minutes in each day. I also know with a fair amount of certainty what the paycheck is going to be each week. In those cases, giving the first fruits becomes more a case of not counting the cost when I give to the Lord. Instead of setting aside 30 minutes for a spiritual quiet time in the morning, why not get completely immersed in listening to 1 Timothy and before I know it, I've finished Philemon! It might mean less time for the laundry (there I go with more excuses for avoiding the laundry!), but the payoff is immeasurable. Not only in my own life, but what kind of impact will it have on my girls when I tell them that the laundry isn't done because I was enjoying reading the Bible so much that I lost track of time?

Or a special need arises with a missionary or family in the church and instead of just plopping the allotted ten percent in the plate, why not give a little more and see what happens. Again the payoff is in the Lord's hands. It might mean we can't afford the cable tv for a couple of months, but imagine explaining to the kids why not. And imagine what it will put back into the harvest of my time!

Our lives tend to follow a pattern similar to the God-programmed mission of the garden. If we neglect our relationship with our Savior, our spiritual life suffers and so does every other aspect of our existence. Yes, we still manage to pay bills, teach our children and complete our other tasks. But when we give the Lord the firstfruits of our time and other resources, the final yield is often astonishing! When I spend that first portion of my day fellowshipping with and worshipping my Sovereign Creator, somehow the other tasks of the day seem to take care of themselves. Maybe I work more efficiently. Maybe a fresh perspective makes some of the jobs less important than I had originally thought. When I give generously to the Lord's work regardless of what the budget says, somehow the other financial responsibilities get taken care of. Maybe there is more overtime on the paycheck. Maybe a payment gets refunded unexpectedly. I can't really explain it.

But I do know that when I joyfully give of the firstfruits in my life to the Lord, the end result is always far greater than I could have imagined!

Fertile Ground, part 8

Mulch

Mulch is a beautiful thing. Not just because it makes things look better either. Mulch is beneficial for the garden in many ways. It helps to keep the weeds down. Soil retains moisture longer when it is covered with mulch. It makes it easier to mow. It slowly adds organic matter to the soil as it breaks down. I could go on.
After talking about it for far too long, I finally brought home a truck load of beautiful mulch this weekend and put it on my newly weeded flower bed. And it looks great. Unfortunately, it doesn’t last forever. As it breaks down, or blows away, it must be replaced. And the weeds do still get through. It does make the job easier, but it is not a one-time, fix-it-and-forget-it solution.
The things that we do to maintain our relationship with our Heavenly Father are not one-time, fix-it-and-forget-it tasks either. It takes daily, sometimes hourly or minute by minute upkeep or the weeds get in fast and ferocious. Can you imagine if David said “Maybe next week I will pray to you”? Or imagine if Deuteronomy 6 (the quintessential passage for Christian homeschool parents) told us to teach our children about the Bible only when we felt like it or happened to remember? We can’t read a chapter one week or memorize a verse one month and expect it to last us indefinitely. That is why we have countless examples in scripture of godly people who diligently sought after God’s face faithfully. To many of them it was more important than food or even life itself.
Do we feel that way? Are we willing to carve out a little time for daily maintenance? Or, like the mulch, do we just want to throw a little down and expect miracles?
God’s Word encourages us over and over to keep scripture before our eyes. There are 774, 746 verses in the Bible. Go ahead and count them if you don't believe me! Let's make a commitment together to memorize one verse every day for the next month, okay?

Fertile Ground, part 7

Garden Clubs

Since I know absolutely no one outside of our church or Christian family, when our small town started up a garden club recently it suited my purpose to join. I attended the first meeting with some trepidation. Pictured in my mind was a gaggle of women in pastel dresses, hats covered in flowers and white gloves to the elbows sipping weak tea out of dainty china cups as they discussed the latest cultivars of geranium to be added to their porch collection. In my version of gardening, I drag 600 feet of hose around and plant trees with a loader tractor. I break spades on a regular basis and I am always sweaty and filthy. I did not think I would have anything in common with the other members of this club.
Perhaps I have been reading too much (as if!), but I was immediately relieved upon arrival. We met in the Ag department of the local high school and there was not one dress, flowery hat or pair of gloves to be seen. Some of the immediate plans for the club are: landscaping some of the local parks, having lectures on topics like pests, pruning, and wind erosion prevention and sharing perennials badly in need of dividing with other members. This is going to be a good thing. I am meeting people not only with the common bond of a love of gardening, but also with the willingness to get down and dirty in order to get the job done.
As I scrutinize gardening and compare it to our spiritual life and search for practical applications, I keep running into two repeating themes. They are hard work and a zeal for the unwanted task. Perhaps our Lord intended for the Christian life to be simple, but I don’t think he ever intended it to be easy. So much of what we need to do to maintain our spiritual integrity is just plain hard. It takes toil and pain and grief and sacrifice and no small amount of diligence and patience. It also means getting our hands dirty, and I don’t mean with sin, but rather with sinners. Discussing different cults or popular trends that fly in the face of Scripture in our Sunday School classes is all well and good, but only if we take what we learn and share it. Solving the problems of homelessness, drug abuse and teen age pregnancy around the coffee table is no solution at all. We need to open the sheltered havens that we have created for our families and let others in. We need to be willing to make mistakes and learn from them. We need to risk being hurt in order to reach out.
Yes, our Lord Jesus set aside time with the disciples to refresh himself. He spent time alone in prayer with his Father. But the example that we see is that most of the time, he was out with the people. He was touching the leprosy to heal it. He was being rejected by his own family. He was dying for us all.
What kind of influence do we want to have? What kind of example do we want our children to see in us: Pretty but with no real use, or a little on the grubby side but infinitely practical? In cultivating souls for Christ, what kind of garden club are you in?

Fertile Ground, part 6

The Bird Bath

What garden is complete without a bird bath? We love watching the various interactions that take place there every morning. Birds can be so silly! Bird baths bring a great deal of delight to our yard, but there is no question that they also bring some work along with them as well. They have to be filled, sometimes several times a day. And if you don’t clean them periodically, you don’t have a bird bath. You have a science experiment.
One of my tasks this week has been keeping someone’s plants watered while they are away. At the end of the first day I filled the bird bath before I left. The second day, it was still full when I arrived. The third day, it was still full and that seemed odd. An hour after I fill mine, the birds have already come and splashed most of the water out. So I took a closer look and found a layer of yellow scum. Under that was a thick layer of brown scum. And under that was a layer of green algae scum. So I cleaned it and today when I arrived, it was almost empty. The birds had begun using it again.
Throughout the 23rd chapter of Matthew, Jesus chastises the Pharisees for doing what it takes to appear righteous on the outside, but leaving the inside as unclean as before. It seems they were always missing the point. He always came down hard on hypocrites, comparing them to blind guides and tombs full of bones and unwashed cups. Maybe the imagery of a filthy bird bath would have suited his purpose just as well.
The next time I fill the bird bath in our yard, I will be thinking about the Pharisees. And asking myself, “Am I just walking the walk, talking the talk, and doing the deeds to make myself look all spruced up on the outside?” or “Am I doing what is right because the cleansing power of the Holy Spirit has been at work in my life and I do it because I have a passion to see the glory of my God realized in the lives of others?” If not, maybe it’s time to get out the scrub brush. I really want to be useable, not just decorative.

Fertile Ground, part 5

Worms

Prior to breaking ground before we built our house, our acreage was a bean field and had been farm land for generations. A common misconception is that farm land is fertile, rich soil in the prime of health. That is far from true. Because of the extensive and rigorous growing of crops, the soil is often deplete of nutrients yet full of pesticide and herbicide residuals. Yes, farmers fertilize, but it is chemical in nature, rather than natural. However, my purpose is not to bemoan or condemn current farming practices. The long and short of it is that when we took possession of this piece of land, there was not a worm on it. And that is sad.
Worms, for many reasons, are a gardener’s friends. They fertilize and aerate the soil, create passages for water to penetrate and indicate the general health of the soil. A good rule of thumb is ten worms per cubic foot of soil. That means that if you dig up one cubic foot of soil, ideally you would find at least ten worms in it, if your soil is in good shape. On the other hand, chemicals, good and bad, destroy the worm population. While chemicals can be a great help to the farmer and gardener alike, they are ultimately a short cut that must be used over and over, often more and more frequently to obtain the desired results rather than a more permanent solution to the problem.
For life application purposes, I would be hard pressed to find a verse in the Bible about worms that was suited to this discussion. However, you only need to do a search for the word “diligently” in Scriptures to see that there is not a quick spiritual fix or short cut to a holy life. Are we satisfied with just “Our Daily Crumbs” or are we willing to put the time and effort into developing real study habits? When our Lord shows us the path he wants us to take, are we willing to follow or do we balk at his direction because it seems too hard? Just as worms are an indicator of soil health, there are also indicators in our lives of spiritual health: a spirit controlled temperament, patient or even joyful response to stressors, a willingness to give when we ourselves have need… If we could dig up a cubic foot of our soul, would we find ten evidences of the fruits of the Spirit?
I am happy to report that after 2 ½ years of planting and watering and lots of work, the last hole that we dug for a tree yielded several very long, very fat night crawlers! The worms are returning. The soil that God created is very resilient and is healing itself. I am also happy to report that God created our souls that same way. Healing is possible. With patience and labor, we can begin to see fruit in our lives once again.

Fertile Ground, part 4

Relief
I love a good storm out here in the country. You can see the clouds piling up and marching across the sky long before they are overhead. I love the sounds of the raindrops on the roof and the rumble and crack of the thunder. The smells present during a storm awaken something in me that I cannot fully describe, but it is both satisfied and wild at the same time.
I have heard all of the simplistic ways that parents explain thunder to their children. “The angels are bowling in heaven today.” What a trivial way to sell your kids short of the truth! We have had numerous discussions about thunder and lightning as well as about the incomparable power of God. What is the purpose of lightning? I understand what it is and why. I also know that it helps to replenish the ozone layer. But what strikes me is that God could have dealt with the ozone in many ways, but he chose lightning because he could. Imagine that after all of the raw power needed to maintain the entire universe, the Almighty has plenty left over for the incredible displays of electricity during a storm.
After the drought that we had here last year (2006), the rains this spring have been a welcome refreshment. Did you know that one inch of rain over one square foot of ground weighs 5.2 pounds? And one inch of rain over one acre weighs 113.31 tons. Imagine if God just dumped that out of a bucket all at once. There would be flooding and great devastation. The crops as well as the people would be drowned for sure.
But the rain is a perfect picture of God’s grace. He measures it out to us just as we need it and when we need it most. And like the cooling rain, our Savior’s tender grace brings with it a life giving relief to the dry, fallow ground of our hearts. It can soak in and awaken new life in our soul, if we have sown the seeds by storing his Word in our hearts against lean times.
The next time it storms in your area, get as close to it as you can (or dare!) and talk or think about the power of God and his restraint of that power. Find verses that describe his grace. Or have a “water music” concert by singing as many Psalms and hymns and spiritual songs that talk about water as you can think of while you watch the rain. You just might find yourself longing for those drippy-have-to-stay-indoors days!

For you left brainers that need to know how I came up with my figures for the weight of rain, click here. http://www.ag.ndsu.nodak.edu/dickinso/research/2004/range04c.htm

Fertile Ground, part 3

The Weapons
Many products have been developed in recent years and added to the arsenal of weed prevention and elimination. There are methods that are chemical, mechanical and manual. Some of them even work…for awhile.
Chemical warfare has a great deal of appeal. Just spray the little buggers and sit back on your porch swing and imagine them twitching and spasming as they gasp their final breath. It is very satisfying to just “nuke ‘em”. It can also be expensive and the practice is beginning to create “super weeds” that are more and more resistant to the herbicides. There is also much debate and protest about the effects that the chemicals have on humans. (Note that I am not taking sides here. I see both the need and the harm in chemicals. Realistically though, I have three acres that I am trying to control. Poast, Roundup, and Weed-Be-Gone are three of my best friends!)
Another relative in the chemical family of weapons is the pre-emergent variety. Put it down and the weeds can’t even begin to grow. But neither can any other kind of seed. And there is a residual effect in the soil in subsequent years. All in all, the chemicals are quick and effective, but costly in more ways than one.
Mechanical methods are a little different. Tillers, mowers, cultivators and the like require more effort on our part and the return is not always very good. You have to know your enemy. Rototilling a patch of dandelions or thistle is actually about the best thing that you can do…to help them. Some weeds can duplicate themselves from very small pieces of the original plant. Cutting them up only multiplies them. Knowing whether a weed is perennial or annual and how it will respond to mechanical cultivation goes a long way in making your efforts effective.
Even though it is the hardest, manual weed removal is my favorite. I named my hoe “Manuel Trabajo”. (A Spanish/English pun-a hoe named manual labor-get it?) I also do a lot on my hands and knees. When you pull a weed out by the root, you know that one, at least, isn’t coming back. There is also something about being alone with your thoughts and your Creator that makes weeding by hand doubly worth while. You’re already on your knees. You might as well make the most of the time. Take the opportunity of the quietness of your heart (no head phones allowed!) to hear the things that your Heavenly Father would say to you. See the application of Scripture in the work before you. There is a greater understanding of what it means to be “rooted and grounded” as you care for the plants in front of you. A stubborn weed brings new meaning to the “root of bitterness” that the Bible talks about. You can become intimately acquainted with everything in the patch of soil you are working with, from the worms (which you are happy about) and slugs (which you are not), to the Bells-of-Ireland that traveled across the yard. You can get to know your Savior a little better at the same time.
There is a parallel to our Christian lives here as well (surprise!). Just as the weeds themselves are a picture of what sin can be like, so the methods of removing them can also be like our ways of dealing with sin. There is no “quick fix” for sin. You can’t just spray it and walk away. You also can’t just get rid of some of it. The whole thing has to go or the bits and pieces left behind can make a bigger mess. There is much prayer and diligence ahead when you want to eliminate the things in your life that God hates. And when you finally conquer something that has taken control of part of you, there is great satisfaction.

Fertile Ground, part 2


Turning three acres of farmland into a thing of landscaped beauty is fast becoming one of the more difficult endeavors of my life. Henbit, lamb’s quarter, velvet leaf, pig weed, thistles, dandelions, purslane, knotweed-You name it, I’ve got it. Grass, trees, shrubs, flowers-I’m still working on them. Little did I know that I was not drawing up a landscape plan just over two years ago. I was drawing battle plans.
I have since learned a great deal about the enemy, fighting strategies, and the weapons specific to this particular war. I’ve also learned a few other lessons on the way. I’d like to share some of them with you.

The Enemy
Weeds come in all shapes, sizes and colors. Some of them have even befriended our children in an effort to end our zealous attacks against them. By my definition a weed is any plant that is not where it belongs. If the Mexican Primrose spreads too far, it becomes a weed, although I have a difficult time hating it. True weeds, the ones that inspire feelings of animosity, all share several characteristics: they grow rapidly, spread quickly and are difficult to get rid of. The field clover that I battled with yesterday were not there last year and now they are all over the yard and the roots are often two feet deep or more. Yet, the plants that I want to grow wilt at the thought of frost, don’t like wind, have to be watered constantly, and take forever to get big enough to even bloom.
That reminds me of sin. It seems that sin often springs up overnight, needs no encouragement whatsoever, and has a way of spreading just like weeds. It takes no time at all for sin to embed its roots deep in our lives and it is very hard to get rid of once it is there. Yet, all of the good habits and things that I want to cultivate in my life require a great deal of time and effort and die at even the slightest hint of neglect.
How frustrating! I love how the Apostle Paul puts it.” I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand.” (Romans 7:15-21)
But there are ways for dealing with both weeds and sin!

Fertile Ground, part 1

*Fertile Ground is an ongoing devotional of sorts that springs from times spent with the Lord in the garden. Some of the most valuable lessons for me have been whispered to my heart when I am alone, on my knees, in the dirt.

The Plan
You want to start a garden. Maybe you have in mind a lush green lawn surrounded by beds of tumbling and cascading fountains of color, with each season bringing new variety. Or perhaps your idea is of soldier-straight rows of vibrant green plants each bearing mounds of perfect produce that would make even Burpee envious.
So, you throw out some seed and hope for the best? No! Whether simple or grand, you must start with a plan. Some gardeners begin in January, curled up next to a cozy fire with an avalanching pile of seed catalogues. They make lists, draw diagrams, check and recheck. When spring finally arrives, they are ready. They head out with new gloves, clean spades and hoes, and carefully using stake and string they plot their patch. With textbook precision they plant each seed, and precisely on cue, each seed sprouts perfectly spaced and identical. They wouldn’t dare do otherwise.
The rest of us start about two days before our frost free date. That’s because each year we have to look up when it is safe to plant and it always sneaks up on us. So we end up running to Wal-mart, picking a handful of seed packets that look interesting and haphazardly tossing them in rows we scratched with the blunt hoe that still has last year’s clods on it. We get a lot of “help”, so in the end, we’re not even really sure what is in each row. But at the end of last season we were sure we were going to do it right “next year” and we had a plan, even if it was just a fantasy.
There is another kind of gardener, though. This gardener spends time learning about different kinds of plants that they might want to grow. They order their seeds in advance and get their tools ready. They might even have a picture in mind of how they intend to plant this year, but they are open to the idea of changing that plan. They make allowances for the little people that help with and spend time in their garden as well as for the wildlife that might visit there. And they delight in surprises like a butterfly chrysalis found or the unexpected flower planted by a bird. When something doesn’t work, something else is tried. A great deal of care is given, but there is also a great deal of joy.
Have you sensed where I’m going with this yet?
Every life needs a plan, and I don’t mean careers and relationships either. Simple or grand, we all need a spiritual plan. Will it be regimented and strict? “A place for everything and everything in its place” but no tolerance for anything outside of our plan and no joy either? Or will it be a slap-dash mess? Hastily thrown together at the last minute because we forgot and we’ll do better next time?
There is another way. It requires a different kind of mindset. Make a plan, but be open to the Holy Spirit’s leading in other directions. Be willing to drop everything in order to take advantage of opportunities that present themselves with the little ones and allow time to share with those whose lives touch yours only briefly. Enjoy the surprises. Work through the mistakes. Be vigilant, but be flexible. And there will be joy!

I'll Take a Side Order of Abnormal, Please!

For those of you who have read J's story here, I want to clarify something. I do not want people to feel sorry for us that we experienced her birth in such a way. I don't want sympathy that I didn't get to be a "normal" Mom.
There are so many things that I would have missed out on if she had been a full-term, 7.5 pound, 21 inches long baby girl.

  • If I had carried her in my womb, I would not have gotten to watch the miracle of God's design take shape in front of my very eyes.
  • If I she had waited and I had gotten to hold her right away (instead of having to wait 6 1/2 weeks), I would have missed the priviledge of holding her for hours at a time before most Moms even get to see their babies.
  • I would have missed the delight of meeting the people who have dedicated their lives to extending the limits of birth instead of cutting it short. (Some abortions still take place when our daughter was born!)*This was true when I originally wrote it, but I don't know if it still is.
  • I would not have the level of comfort with leaving her in the care of others that I do now, if I had not gotten so much practice in the beginning.
  • Every mother experiences God's Grace upon the birth of her children, but (and I hope this doesn't sound cocky) I believe that I am aware of a deeper measure of that Grace because her circumstance was completely out of our control and beyond our ability to "cope".
  • I got a chance to heal and recoop before I brought the newborn home.
  • And don't be jealous, but she was practically sleeping through the night the day she came home (the monitors and breast pump weren't, but that's beside the point)!
  • I can think of others, but the biggest is that I would not have the confidence to raise her with the knowledge that God must surely have a purpose for her in mind since he went to such great lengths to make sure she survived!

Yes, it was a difficult time, but I would not trade one second in the NICU for all the stretch marks and labor pains in the world (yes, there's a little gloating there) and the chance to experience a little of the "Abnormal" or "God's normal instead."

*Today is J's 9th birthday. She will always be smaller, and there are a few things that she struggles with, but they are all very minor compared with where she has come from! I will never be able to thank our Heavenly Father enough for supporting her every breath when there was nothing anyone else could do. He alone is the reason she is alive today and He alone deserves the praise and glory. I did send flowers to the NICU though. ;)

Friday, February 1, 2008

Flash Forward

The story does not end there, but I will spare you the long, drawn out version. Suffice it to say that J is thriving in her one-of-a-kind way! She will always have an issue with vision, but that is minor. She also has Sensory Integration Disorder which serves to keep life interesting for all of us. She is still doing some catching up in the large and fine motor areas as well as emotional maturity, and she will always be smaller in stature. All of those things, while they do cause some frustration (when I am operating in the flesh and not by the Holy Spirit), are small potatoes when I remember where God has brought us from!
You would think from what I have written so far that J is our only child, but that is not so! Stepping out on faith alone, we decided to try again. After all, J needed a sibling! And with only a few bumps along the way, we had our second daughter almost four years ago. MR could not be more different than her sister! They are both unique and wonderful testimonies to the continued creative genius of our Lord! And whether J would admit it to anyone or not, M has been a blessing to her. She relates to her imagination as only a three year old could, comforts her, pushes her buttons in all the right (and sometimes wrong!) ways, and gives, gives, gives.
With the addition of two cats, fourteen fish, and the hope of a dog this year, our family is now complete. As exciting as the first leg of our trip on this Path of Grace was, I look forward to finding out what God has in store for us in the days to come!

Sola Fide!
Sola Gratia!